You Can Let Go

Recently Sara, my youngest daughter, told me that she had found “our song”. The song is “You can let go” by Crystal Shawanda.  If you’re not familiar with it be sure to check it out, it is a wonderful song caroled by a heavenly voice. I had heard the song before but never really paid attention to the lyrics. The refrain goes-

              

             

                 “You can let go now, daddy, you can let go.

                  Oh, I think I am ready to do this on my own.

                  It’s still a little bit scary but I want you to know

                   I’ll be okay now, daddy, you can let go”

The story of the song follows the life of a little girl and her daddy.  Sadly it ends with the father dying. I am sure Sara was not including this little bit of information when she deemed this “our song”.

Sara tapped her music player and the song filled the cab of the truck.

Memories are often difficult for my mind to generate with accuracy. Age and brain damage usually cast a mist around the memories.  But this day God blessed me with clarity of thought. As I listened to Crystal Shawanda sing her words a flood of memories came forth.

I remembered Sara Rose lying in an incubator, just a few hours old, with I.V.’s taped to her little body. A small mask placed over her eyes. Wires that led to numerous alarms extended from her small chest. I remembered the nurses telling me that I could not touch her. Stimulation was to be held to absolute minimums, her brain needed rest.

I remembered her first birthday, and thanking God because 364 days earlier I didn’t know if she would ever celebrate a birthday.

I remembered teaching her to ride a bicycle and the cries that first accompanied  scraped knees, then the cries of triumph as she mastered the road.

I remember when she came home one Sunday from church and told me that she was saved. I might have cried a little.

I remembered when she first shared with me that she “liked a boy”. I might have cried a lot.

I remembered her words written on my birthday card a year and a half ago-together we can handle anything.

Memories turned into thoughts of the future. I pictured her walking across the stage at her graduation ceremony. I pictured her walking down the aisle of our church….

The memories came in a flood and rapidly. My thoughts were interrupted by Sara only about fifteen seconds into the song. The mind is an amazing instrument, a lifetime had passed in but a few seconds.

Sara said, “But you can never let go Daddy”.

My daughter is amazing. God is amazing, that He would know to gift such a wonderful child to a person like me. What makes it even more amazing is that He has done so six times.

Don’t worry Bam Bam, I will never let go.