Beef Jerky, Chips and a Reminder

There is a feeling, or perhaps better said, an emotion I want to explore with you. I am not sure if it has a one word description like “sorrow”, “joy”, “hope” or “fear”.  It comes quickly, but its stay is oh so brief.  I can only believe that everyone has experienced it at one time or another, at least I hope so. The triggering mechanism may differ for each person or even for each occurrence; I know I have experienced on more than one occasion.  To provide a narrative in lieu of a single word description;

A sudden rush of pure love grips you without warning, love that is reserved for those we adore the most.

Forgive me for the sappiness; it is contrary to the typical image I have worked so hard to develop. But I can’t find a single word, much less a masculine one, to describe this event.  Let me tell you what happened.

Wednesday evening I was driving to San Antonio with my two youngest (and last) children with me. Rush hour had not quite vanished. My day at work had left me in a not-so-great mood.  A slight pressure was cultivating in the base of my neck; a sure sign that a full blown headache was soon to blossom. Much needed sleep was still hours away. 

I pulled into the parking lot of the local grab and bag to get a snack and drink to tide the kids over until dinner. Sara selected beef jerky and a Coca Cola; Joseph grabbed his favorite Sour Skittles and a bag of chips. (Don’t judge my parenting skills, it was just a snack!)

We jumped back on I35 and resumed the forty minute trek into S.A.

My kids are great. Grant it I am somewhat biased, what parent isn’t. Now of course my children are not immune to bouts of sibling rivalry on occasion. Competition for coveted time on the computer is a semi-regular debate. Whether the toilet lid should be left up or down and discussions on bad toilet aim have more than once crept into our little household. I am fortunate that the rivalry has never elevated to the hair pulling, face slapping or bra snapping levels. At their age I am quite certain that I was either the deliverer or recipient of these tactics and many others.  As for my two youngest (and last) children I believe they may survive cohabitation by mostly ignoring each other.

The traffic was clearing so I increased my speed and tried to erase the problems of the day by tuning into the music playing in the truck; Adele singing about setting fire to the rain. The volume was high but I didn’t complain, it acted as a melodic white-out over the memories of the day. Minutes passed without much notice when I realized that my two youngest (and last) children were in conversation. I couldn’t make out what they were saying, their words no competition for the blaring radio. But out of the corner of my eye I saw Joseph offer Sara his open bag of chips then Sara reciprocate with her open bag of jerky.

The trigger.

In that brief moment, from those insignificant gestures, this sudden rush of fatherly love filled my heart, my mind and my soul. I love my children all the time, every minute of every day, but this incredible rush of love was…incredible. For that moment nothing else existed or mattered.

God is everywhere.

I wondered if God ever has this unnamed feeling. Does He look down upon His creation, His rivaling children and see just one small gesture that causes His heart to swell? Does it remind Him of why He created us in the first place?

A reminder. That is the one word description of this feeling that rushes in unannounced. With that feeling God reminded me of what is important, what is precious. The problems of the day will go away only to be replaced by others. Bills, taxes, and headaches will come and go. But the love for my children; my reasons for living, my reasons for facing life over and over, will never fade.

Thanks for the reminder God.