What our children don’t know.

There are things that our children don’t know. I know this to be true because I was once a child. The things they don’t know today are the same things I didn’t know yesterday (well a lot of yesterdays). I suspect that one day they too will know things that their own children do not know; this is the way of the world.

The list of things unknown by our children is exhaustive, and falls into two categories. First are the things that they may eventually know because we tell them about it. Now of course that doesn’t guarantee that they know or remember it, which would require them to listen.

Second are the things they will probably never know.

They don’t know about breath. They don’t know that when they took their first breath into their tiny lungs, as I watched their tiny chest rise and fall, they took my breath away. They don’t know that for the first few months of their life, every night I stood above their bed and listened. I listened for the sounds of breathing.

They don’t know how much I wanted their first words to be “Daddy”, or how it really didn’t matter after all.

They don’t know that dirty diapers, baby spit up, and any other bodily substance makes me cringe unless I first rub deodorant above my upper lip. (Try not to figure that one out)

They don’t know that they were not the only one afraid on their first day of school. I was afraid the next fifteen years would go by as quickly as the first five.

  

They don’t know that my favorite piece of art was always the ones held to the refrigerator by magnets.

They don’t know that I was more upset than they were when they discovered that Santa Claus wasn’t real

They don't know that "Yes", I really did want that last piece of pie..

They don’t know how many times I really let go when teaching them to ride a bike.

They don’t know how hard it was to let go when they first spent the night at friends.

They don’t know that I still watch them late at night to make sure they are breathing.

They don’t know their first love meant to me that one day they would no longer need me to hold their hand or to dry their tears.

They don’t know that I like they music they listen to.

They don’t know that late at night, when their not at home, every siren heard makes me stop breathing for just a second.

I am certain the list of what they don’t know could go on and on. The list may be as long as the list of things they think they know.

What I hope they know is faith; faith in the God of the universe, the same God that breathed the air into those tiny little lungs, what seemed like just a moment ago.

I hope they know I love them.

God Moments

John Park and The Crooked Toe Band

Sometimes, but not often enough, God gives us a moment. A moment that changes everything bad going on around us, a moment that lasts a lifetime.

I have a dear friend who is dying. As his battle against the cancer that racks his body nears the close, I hope for a God moment. Oh prayers for miracles continue in earnest as they have for months now. John has many friends, people who love him beyond measure that have formed a continuous and incredible prayer chain. Their petition for a miracle healing stems from a deep faith in God and love for John.

 I have faith that God can, but only can hope that God will. If there has ever been any man who deserved a miracle more…

John has spent his life as a servant to God, therein rests the irony. When our mission here is complete, God calls us home for a greater good, a grander mission. We can only imagine what Heaven is like. So it is difficult for us to understand that this process of dying that brings us such sorrow is most certainly a joyful event on the other side of the heavenly gates. Even when we know that the one we lost has gone to a “better place”. Even when we know that one day we will be reunited, the pain is deep.

So we need a God moment. We want a miracle, we need the moment.

So what is a God moment?

It’s clarity. It’s a pause. It is the moment when we don’t worry about death; when we don’t think about miracles,  when we don’t fear what the future will be like without our loved one. We can do none of these things because for just a moment all we can think about is the person we love. We remove everything else from thought, including ourselves. For just a moment, a God moment.

Last Sunday, and again today I listened as people who know and love John spoke out loud their memories. There was a shared theme; they spoke not of things that John has done but of words that he has said. John’s impact as a teacher was evidenced by these remembered quotes. I was astonished how easily I remembered John’s thoughts and teachings as others shared them with the class.

Many were detailed, even written in the pages of their bibles. When the words were first jotted down John was not sick, he was not dying. They were written down in a moment as so to remember. Remember what was taught, what was said. Now they have become a moment for us to remember John.

Listening to people share these special memories, these special moments, moved me greatly. Tonight as I thought about John and his family I knew that they too needed a God moment. I called Darlene and told her about the class's stroll down memory lane for the past couple of weeks. I told her how much John meant to the class. She already knows this, but I wanted to tell her any way. 

Then I told her about the quotes, about how different people remembered different things that her husband had said over the years… For Darlene this was a God Moment. For just a brief moment, for just a pause, Darlene’s own memories of the words of John came with clarity. It was good to hear her smile.

It lasted for just a moment. Before we hung up she told me she thought it was a good day for a miracle. I agree.

God moments are often too short, but when He grants you one hold onto it. Hang it next to your heart where it will always be. You will forever be able to hear its soothing melody, to feel it’s warm embrace. Miracles come and go, God Moments last…forever.

Take a moment now and listen to John sing about memories....

 Crooked Toe Band-"Today You Walked Through My Memory Again